We are not good enough

Our society is structured so that are you always not happy about something. You always want to have more. I need to work harder to have a better job. I need to earn more money. I need a bigger house. I need a big TV. I need a yearly vacation. I need to earn more degree. I need to get straight A's. I need my kids to experience as many hobbies as possible. I need to eat good food. My basketball team need to score more points. I need to run faster. I need to bike faster. I need to swim faster. I need to lose more weight. I need to dress to impress (ok, this I really need to work on)... the list go on and on.

Well since day 1 of the training season, I want to become a better swimmer. I took lessons and I swam extra. I am still slow after 9 months. When I swim in 24hr fitness some grandma will swim faster than me. In fact I believe I am the slowest in the team for Vineman. I hate swimming for a passion! It's not because I am slow, I just hate swimming! I recently came up with the quote. "You don't have to drag me to hell, you just have to drag me to swim"

My coaches and teammates have been very supportive about this whole Louis hate swimming thing. They keep me going and tell me I am doing a good job. But I mostly ignore these encouragements just because I need to swim so much faster! When you came out of the water half dead and someone say...Louis you did a good job today... it's hard to make yourself believe that you are in fact doing a good job.

So you know, the same routine yesterday. I didn't want to swim but I drag my ass there. The workout was actually going well. I constantly check the time to see how much longer I need to swim (in milisecond of course) before the workout is over.

Then on one of the lap my coach want over and want to talk to me. I was like oh no something is coming up... I feel like a kid who broke his mom's china and have to explain why they were broken. (I paint Coach Paul as this Evil Thing when I am in my swimming mode)

So the coach came to me, tab my head and say. 'Good Job Louis. One more swim(next thur) and you are good for Vineman. Look at how far you have come'.

I continue to swim and think about what he said. He is right. I did freaking come a long way. From not knowing how to swim to swimming 2.4 miles. I did in fact come a long way. Instead of looking back at how much better I got with swimming, I constantly look at how much I want to improve. Looking back few months ago, I cannot swim 25 yards. But slowly and surely, I completed 25 yards, then 50, then 100, 200, 500, 1km, 1.5km. I then swam in the ocean with my wetsuit and I almost die! but then I swam 3/4 mile at Desert Triathlon and I actually swam faster than a few teammates (because I did not panic)... 2km... then 1.2 mi swim at Wildflower Triathlon. 2.5km... 3km. Damn I really came a long way.

Coaches always said to cherish what you accomplished. It was 8 months to late but I am cherishing my swim 'accomplishment' now. Having said that I know I still need to stay focus and finish my event on Aug 1. Sometime we just need to take a step back and look at what we accomplished... instead of looking at how much more we have to improve. It will make you a happier person.